FULL EXPRESSION: 3 Journal prompts to reconnect you to your body’s goodness
Do you let people see you?
As someone who’s always identified more with intellect and spirituality than with my body, I assumed my body-image was pretty good. I have taken pride in being non-materialistic, minimalist and paying little attention to my appearance. (I didn’t even get my haircut in a salon until my mid twenties!)
But over the past couple years I’ve been exploring my beliefs and programming around how I feel I’m “allowed” to look, desire, feel and be seen.
What I realized is I’ve actually been afraid to be seen in my queer feminine power. (Rightfully so).
I started noticing that every time I tried to dress how I deeply desired (feminine, sexy and confidently), a wave of questions and anxiety would arise:
Do I look like I’m asking for attention?
Too tight? Too much? Too sexy? Trying too hard??
Will I make any women feel jealous or uncomfortable if I wear this?
Will I make men uncomfortable? Will they “lust” after me?
Would my (then) husband approve?
I began to notice my programmed beliefs about my body:
It’s safer to dress in baggy clothes and avoid attention.
It’s my responsibility to make sure others feel comfortable around me.
If I’m seen owning my body with confidence, men will abuse me and women will slander me.
Taking up too much space is shameful. Beauty is a distraction. Who do I think I am to be confident???
Quiet, small, meek women are most lovely.
All of this was hiding underneath my safety blanket of oversized sweaters, big curly hair and pride in not being “materialistic.” (Sometimes even our values can keep us from freedom if we over-identify).
Because I was unable to feel powerful in my body and radically confident being seen, I held back in numerous other areas too.
As Clarissa Pinkola Estes says, “destroying a woman’s instinctive affiliation with her natural body cheats her of confidence. It causes her to perseverate about whether she is a good person or not, and bases her self-worth on how she looks instead of who she is.”
This endless cycle of doubt, questioning yourself and inability to stand in your power is directly related to how worthy you feel in your body.
Meaning: The life you want… The dreams you have… The depth of relationship you crave...The freedom to express your creativity and sexual life-force energy… The way you feel called to lead, love and give…
It is diluted unless you can embody into your self-worth and finally be seen as you are.
And I don’t know about you but I don’t want to be diluted. I want potency.
That’s why in this season, I’m reclaiming the parts of myself I’ve made small in attempts to be safe. I can trust that owning my beauty, femininity, and sexuality to my fullest expression is not only safe, it is good.
No matter what your relationship to your body has been, I want you to know there is a way to express your whole self and reclaim your body as good, sacred and holy.
You have permission… You don’t need permission to show up and be seen. You’ve only got to show up for it, one day at a time.
If you don’t know where to begin reprogramming your brain around these stories, I have 3 journal prompts for you:
Prompt 1: What did people in your family and community value about women growing up? (Note any preference for body type, style, personality traits, sexual expression, and job titles).
Prompt 2: Finish this sentence: When I get dressed, I want to feel ____________.
Prompt 3: If you could be fully expressed, what would be different about how you showed up in your femininity?
With you as we push the bounds of what it means to be worthy, whole and in our power, together.
xx,
-Madison