I used to self-define as an empath, Highly Sensitive Person, and a chronic people-pleaser.

Of course, these are now popular terms, but when I say my lack of boundaries was a chronic problem… I mean it.

And if this week, your energetic/emotional/social media boundaries need a boost, you’re not alone.

Did you know that both overly rigid boundaries AND permeable, weak boundaries are responses to the same thing?

There was once a time when our full expression wasn’t perceived as safe, so we needed to self-protect.

The rigid boundaries and walls we make to keep people out *as well as* the people-pleasing, fawning, emotional, and energetic merging we might experience are both brilliant and helpful adaptive strategies.

The issue arises when we are no longer in a situation where we need to be protective. It’s in these moments where our particular adaptive strategies are a source of pain (like when we ARE safe enough to reach for connection and full expression, but our strategy protects us from what we desire) where we can call upon hypnosis to support us.

Let me take you back to New Year’s Eve 2014.

I’d made a new friend, let’s call her Britt. Britt was intense, invasive and truth be told, I didn’t know how to be myself around her.

She liked me a lot and considered me her very best friend. I, on the other hand, couldn’t tell if I liked her or not. All I knew was that when Britt was around, my opinions went out the window and I acquiesced to her every wish.

In her presence, I become hollow, unable to feel my body and only able to respond to her moods, whims, and needs. (I later learned I was disassociating and fawning).

Britt would speak over me, offer unsolicited advice, and judge others who shared opinions, styles, and perspectives as me. (I later learned how these were subtle and familiar control tactics, tactics my body knew were unsafe but was not consciously registering because, in the face of this kind of relational danger, my adaptive strategy was to people-please).

Britt was hosting a New Year's Eve party and asked me to help. I showed up early, helped prepare food, decorated, and invited all my friends… my friends who… did not like Britt one bit. My friends who, after watching me stress about Britt all night, anxiously “helping,” eating chicken wings so Britt didn’t know I was a vegetarian (she hated “woke” vegetarians), gave me a big wake-up call.

They told me to look around and notice… It was only my friends who came to the party and all of whom had different plans for the ball drop. We all left at 11:30 pm, and truth be told, I don’t remember anything else about the night other than feeling guilt, shame, and confusion.

After that night, Britt was very disappointed that I “left her.” We never hung out again, and I began going to therapy and untangling from this deep web of self-abandonment.

I now know how much I confused people as I seemed so eager to forsake my own body, my opinions, and my feelings to connect, help and “be a good friend.”

Like so many people-pleasers, empaths, and HSP’s, I was more concerned with the energy I felt from others being positive than I was feeling what was emerging from my own core.

I did not feel sovereign, worthy, whole, or powerful.

I felt… others.

I was sensitive to others to my own detriment.

I was terrified of being myself. I had no opinions, no preferences, no connection to my core when in the presence of another person.

Although I am still energetically sensitive and highly empathic, these qualities are no longer a source of pain in my life because I’ve re-established somatic connection, feel my own feelings, have tools to set boundaries…

…and know how to call my energy back.

I am no longer in chronic self-protection and therefore in chronic self-abandonment.

I am with myself.

I am stable.

I am connected.

I am.

Now I am able to use my sensitivity to support myself, love my beloveds, and support my clients. What once felt like a curse now feels like the biggest gift, and I have re-establishing connection to my sovereign safety to thank for that.

THIS is why I created the Call Your Energy Back hypnosis. (Psst, it’s free).

It supports you in re-establishing the safety to be YOU so the walls of self-protection and the merging are no longer necessary as a means of staying safe.

I made this hypnosis layered with somatic cues as a tool to:

✔️Stop people-pleasing

✔️Stop self-censoring

✔️Feel safe in my body

✔️Assert my preferences and desires

✔️Express my truth in the world

✔️And ultimately… Call My Energy Back

Dr. David Spiegel was recently interviewed by Dr. Andrew Huberman (ep 60) on hypnosis and brought the neuroscience behind hypnosis. He shared, “The brain has this amazing ability to control what's going on in the body that we don't think we have ability to control.”

Hypnosis is proven to support people in:

✔️Adding to cognitive flexibility.

✔️Reducing the unhelpful meanings we make of events in our lives and change our perception.

✔️Supporting the brain to change functions in the body we didn’t previously think the brain could control.

✔️ Helping people with sleep, stress reduction, for pain reduction, for phobias…

✔️It can help the brain form stronger neural connections.

✔️ And more!

Check out Huberman Lab Podcast #60 for more on the neuroscience behind hypnosis.

If you are currently in the process of teaching your body they are safe to be expressed and are done repeating the cycle boundary violations, fawning, self-abandonment, and people-pleasing, I want to invite you to download the Call Your Energy Back hypnosis.

Woven into the hypnosis I use binaural beats, bilateral stimulation, and somatic cues so you can regain access to a felt sense of safety in your body, allowing the emotions, impressions, and experiences of others to wash through you.

No need to protect, only allow.